(no subject)
Jul. 16th, 2010 02:55 pm[Filter: Private]
Dragons, I should be happy for him. Relieved, at least. We thought she was going to roast him over a spit, and thanks to Elizabeth, he's gotten off almost completely unharmed. Maire's so tired of being angry that she accepted his little ... gesture so easily it almost seemed suspect. And ... that's good. It is. I should be glad.
I'm not.
Did it have to be that? Pretending to be so eager over this ... this baby.
I can't --
I can't help but think, maybe it's not an act. Maybe it is an act, but he'll eventually start to believe it. Maybe, maybe ... ugh, Dragons.
Everything seemed so much better when we were away. It was all so perfect. I could forget that we ever fought in the first place. It seemed so silly when we were so far away from all of it. But now we're here again, now I have to see Maire with her pregnant belly and see Destin pretending to fawn and I
I can't stand it.
And if I say anything, anything at all, it'll start it all over again. Another six months of not speaking to one another, not being with one another.
I wish we could just run away. From all of this. From everything. For good.
Haha, but I couldn't even do that, could I? I'm such a coward that the idea of being free and happy is even terrifying.
What I really wish is that I could talk to Ally about all of this. There's only one person who I can really -- really talk to aside from Destin, and it's her. That's how I got into this whole mess with her in the first place, wasn't it? I could talk to her, things were easy with her. Why did I have to --
Ugh.
Dragons, I should be happy for him. Relieved, at least. We thought she was going to roast him over a spit, and thanks to Elizabeth, he's gotten off almost completely unharmed. Maire's so tired of being angry that she accepted his little ... gesture so easily it almost seemed suspect. And ... that's good. It is. I should be glad.
I'm not.
Did it have to be that? Pretending to be so eager over this ... this baby.
I can't --
I can't help but think, maybe it's not an act. Maybe it is an act, but he'll eventually start to believe it. Maybe, maybe ... ugh, Dragons.
Everything seemed so much better when we were away. It was all so perfect. I could forget that we ever fought in the first place. It seemed so silly when we were so far away from all of it. But now we're here again, now I have to see Maire with her pregnant belly and see Destin pretending to fawn and I
I can't stand it.
And if I say anything, anything at all, it'll start it all over again. Another six months of not speaking to one another, not being with one another.
I wish we could just run away. From all of this. From everything. For good.
Haha, but I couldn't even do that, could I? I'm such a coward that the idea of being free and happy is even terrifying.
What I really wish is that I could talk to Ally about all of this. There's only one person who I can really -- really talk to aside from Destin, and it's her. That's how I got into this whole mess with her in the first place, wasn't it? I could talk to her, things were easy with her. Why did I have to --
Ugh.