Jun. 28th, 2009

softestsin: (;; i'm so sick infected with)
[Filter: Private]

I've barely given a moment's thought to that ... proposition.

Possibly because I really don't know where I'd even start to consider.

Obviously, I'm not happy with what the church has become. I wouldn't have turned in my robes if I were. Obviously, I think they could stand to have someone keeping them in check.

But I've heard what the Talons have done. They've hurt people, people who haven't deserved it. That's not what I want, either. That's ... that's the last thing that I want. I know enough about them to know that they and I have nothing in common except for that one ... very large ... thing.

So why am I not just telling her that I'm not interested?

... well, I know why. I'm ... holding onto hope, that there is someone and something out there that could change things. I want there to be a way for me to still serve while not hating what I'm a part of.

I know the Talons isn't that. I know it.

But just saying no ...

It feels like ... like giving up an opporunity I've been waiting for. Whether it actually exists or not.






... I don't want to go home.

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Emery

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