(no subject)
Jun. 28th, 2009 05:46 pm[Filter: Private]
I've barely given a moment's thought to that ... proposition.
Possibly because I really don't know where I'd even start to consider.
Obviously, I'm not happy with what the church has become. I wouldn't have turned in my robes if I were. Obviously, I think they could stand to have someone keeping them in check.
But I've heard what the Talons have done. They've hurt people, people who haven't deserved it. That's not what I want, either. That's ... that's the last thing that I want. I know enough about them to know that they and I have nothing in common except for that one ... very large ... thing.
So why am I not just telling her that I'm not interested?
... well, I know why. I'm ... holding onto hope, that there is someone and something out there that could change things. I want there to be a way for me to still serve while not hating what I'm a part of.
I know the Talons isn't that. I know it.
But just saying no ...
It feels like ... like giving up an opporunity I've been waiting for. Whether it actually exists or not.
... I don't want to go home.
I've barely given a moment's thought to that ... proposition.
Possibly because I really don't know where I'd even start to consider.
Obviously, I'm not happy with what the church has become. I wouldn't have turned in my robes if I were. Obviously, I think they could stand to have someone keeping them in check.
But I've heard what the Talons have done. They've hurt people, people who haven't deserved it. That's not what I want, either. That's ... that's the last thing that I want. I know enough about them to know that they and I have nothing in common except for that one ... very large ... thing.
So why am I not just telling her that I'm not interested?
... well, I know why. I'm ... holding onto hope, that there is someone and something out there that could change things. I want there to be a way for me to still serve while not hating what I'm a part of.
I know the Talons isn't that. I know it.
But just saying no ...
It feels like ... like giving up an opporunity I've been waiting for. Whether it actually exists or not.
... I don't want to go home.