Sep. 26th, 2010

softestsin: (;; i'm so sick infected with)
[Filter: Private]

Dragons, I just don't want to hear about Violet.

Not about how cute she is, not about how much she's enjoying her first Festival, not about her smiling. I don't want to hear about any of it.

... I used to think so badly for Destin for wishing we could just leave. Put this whole life behind us and go away, start over somewhere. Go to Atsiria or Kanemoria where we'd be nothing more than eccentric. I used to think he was immature, stupid, not looking at the big picture, but now, lately ...

I can't deal with this. Dragons, I'm falling apart. I'm trying to be normal for him, trying to seem like everything is okay, and he can still tell. I'm so transparent. I'm so miserable.

I'm so afraid.

He's always with her, always. And it's not about Maire and Lizzie, it's not about obligation. He cares about her. He wants to be with her. He wants it.

Destin loves what he can control.

... he can't get here fast enough. I'm going crazy.

I'm ...

I'm so alone, lately. I'm so afraid, I'm so alone, I haven't seen my family in forever because I won't leave Lucre long enough to see them, because I'd be away from him. I'm giving up everything to try and keep him at my side, and I'm going crazy, and in return can I just --

Can I just not hear about Violet?

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